All I could think is, Wow, these dance moms and people must really hate me to think that someone couldn’t just like me for me. I’m so thankful for the relationship with Melinda & her family, and so thankful that she didn’t walk away when people were being so mean.

Please tell me it’s not just me.  Going to be honest here, I have very little motivation this fall.  I’m not sure if it’s the cooler weather, the looming unknowns of Covid that are still dictating so many things in our lives.  Or, is it that at 40 I am still struggling with self love & believing in myself?  In my first post I mentioned that when I was young I talked it out through journaling. As I write this I feel my mind working and figuring it out. 

Fall footwear is my fav footwear. Boots, I dream of boots all year round. I have collected shoes for so long & often wonder ‘what’s with the obsession?’. Only one answer comes to mind, footwear always fits, there's no moment of holding your breath while struggling to pull up the zipper or the dance we all do pulling up a pair of a little too tight jeans.

Today I am 40….how did that even happen!!! Full disclosure I’m not dealing with this number very well. I remember my dad’s 40th birthday party. Adults partying and my dad wearing old fart slippers that farted every step. I remember looking at them like, man they are old. Now, that’s how my kids are looking at me. They want not much to do with my husband and I now a days. They need me way less then before, which got me looking at what life will be. What will I be without them needing me every minute of every day? Who am I besides mom and wife? Is it to late for me to find something I love to do that doesn’t revolve around them?