Launching at 40
Today I am 40….how did that even happen!!! Full disclosure, I’m not dealing with this number very well. I remember my dad’s 40th birthday party. Adults partying and my dad wearing old fart slippers that farted every step. I remember looking at them like, man they are old. Now, that’s how my kids are looking at me. They want not much to do with my husband and I now a days. They need me way less then before, which got me looking at what life will be. What will I be without them needing me every minute of every day?
Who am I besides mom and wife? Is it to late for me to find something I love to do that doesn’t revolve around them?
So what’s the Answer?
Trying to find answers to these questions has been a process. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s been in the back of my mind for years. I run ideas by my husband every other week, only for me to sit back, process them and realize I wouldn’t be happy. In my life I’ve worn many hats, waitress, travel agent, restaurant manager, retail sales associate, & retail merchandiser, to name a few. Some of those jobs I actually loved, some I hated and were not for me. As tough as Covid has been it’s been something that has helped me self reflect. What do I like to do? I like being creative, I love fashion, beauty, food (man, do I love food), being social and really getting to know people. I wanted something that gave me flexibility so that I could be there for my family when they needed me. So I decided a little passion project was in order instead of getting myself a good old 9-5 job.
Ahhh, What’s that look like?
Well, growing up I always went through phases of keeping a journal. I loved to write down everything. I would go months writing something everyday, to not touching it for 6 months or longer. When I look back on that or read them (cringe), I realized one thing when I was writing I was happy, even when I was sad life started to get better in every entry. I was kinder to myself, and looked at things so differently. I was talking it out before reacting in a negative way. Such a neat, interesting pattern and journey my young self took. This made me connect the pattern of writing and my own personal journey with mental health. Mental Health is something we can talk about now but when I was younger it felt like a taboo conversation. With the last 2 years we’ve all had, my mental health has struggled. That helped me realize I needed that part in whatever I decided to do. What combined everything I love doing? A personal blog might be the passion project I was looking for.
Now what?
Once I made this choice I now needed to figure out where to start. The googling “How to Blog”, “What to Blog” searches started. I reached out to my girl Clarianne with Lace & Confetti Studio, and she encouraged me and helped me along the way. I began to second guess and procrastinate but finally got my shit together. I decided I was just going to make this what I want and I hope that my content is something you want to read or look at. I will try to be as real as can be. Sharing everything I’m comfortable with, and not comfortable with. I am by far not the most talented writer but I hope it engages you enough to want to check back in every now and then. I love what I love, I say what I say, and I do what I do, that’s just me. Thanks for taking 5 minutes out of your day to support my first post. I appreciate it beyond words can say. Till next post…
with love,
Clarissa
